From the point of view of the whole, the family lives on a psychological level a total experience of pain, which affects both the emotional side, both the psychological and social. Experience that is closely related to the type of pathology present in the family, as regards the limitations, which involves the severity and duration of the disease.
A disease like cancer, for example, heightens fears of death and severe suffering for fear of their loved one even when the diagnosis is made in a timely manner, and the subject has a favorable prognosis.
The path of pain
Inspired by the studies of Dr. E. Ross Kubler you can better understand the experience of pain of the family watching a series of phases.
These stages may occur through a process similar or different (first phase of the other) or simultaneously (two phases together) or the person may linger for months or years on a same phase procedure without addition or, conversely, can skip over it.
The Swiss psychiatrist studied these patients in stages, but it is important to emphasize that the same stages of grief that a patient lives can be experienced even by his family, as well as operators, and often what happens at different times. She formulated five steps, starting from the denial phase, in this case I added the shock phase that other authors have mentioned and that very often seen in patients and / or their families.
Often refers to these phases when it comes to mourning, meaning by this phrase to get the psychological journey to acceptance of the loss of their loved one, in fact, in psychology , the term refers to mourn such a painful loss and the stages experience every time we experience suffering.
A loved one who is seriously ill is our grief, that is the pain of his loss of health and fear of losing that familiar with all the emotional states on the situation.
The loss of a job can be a death for us, if that job was the only source of our livelihood and / or activities that were doing it with passion and on which much investivamo also psychologically.
For this reason, the phases of the pain we can live in any situation involving a loss of actual or expected and this will be all the more intense the grief is important to us.
Phase of shock is generally the stage of diagnosis, the classic hit on the head that leads to anxiety so paralyzing often forget to take the words of the doctor or some situations experienced at that time. The family may experience a period, usually brief, of bewilderment and confusion. Although the time of diagnosis is experienced simultaneously with the sick relative, it is not obvious that it is the same for subsequent shocks. Sometimes the family can be more ready nell'introiettare the bad news and perhaps subsequently yield, or it can learn it and live a much more conscious or on the contrary wyverns the shock in an even more intense of the patient. There are no rules, always remember that we are human beings and that the patient who received a diagnosis is not severe a stranger or acquaintance, but a person that you are very connected emotionally.
Phase of denial / rejection: in this phase the family denies the severity of the disease or the presence of the same disease. It 'a filter protector that helps people to work to help as much as possible without contacting his family sick too intensely emotional part. We further identify other doctors for diagnosis, you do research on the computer or through acquaintances who may be advised to try to dismantle or ease the diagnosis. It organizes and evaluates what is needed to help the sick in his surgical procedure and / or physician in a more detached, profitable and fast because it denies the true gravity of the disease. When this step becomes waste is possible that the patient avoids the familiar, if not actively interested in it, this behavior is often not fully aware, is often used to escape the emotional repercussions that the acceptance of a diagnosis that can lead to severe.
Phase of anger: the family feels a high anger toward the doctors and / or to the patient himself, for example, why has not previously done enough controls, because they are sick or to the operators because they have not heard promptly. The subject experiences, at this stage, a strong sense of frustration, helplessness, and of great excitement. In many cases the family may also feel anger towards him, because he can not assist or help his neighbor as he would like, or because it has insisted more than it should when it was time or for other reasons, often for no real faults.
Depression phase: at this stage outweigh feelings of loss, helplessness, sadness and fear. The family at this time, there is real support to the patient because they contact only the negative aspects of the situation of the disease. It 'a phase computing, where the family begins to cope with the psychological condition of his neighbor, begins to confront the possibility of seeing him suffer or die. All this apart, then the real extent of disease and prognosis, as serious illnesses often trigger fantasies of death, even if the person says the opposite and rationally know that their loved one will not risk dying.
Being revised / plea bargain: in a manner characteristic of the family begins to cope with the repercussions of the disease and to begin to accept the situation in exchange for something. For example, it is accepted that their loved one has to undergo a transplant in the hope of being able to celebrate with him in that particular next party. In more severe cases, it is hoped, for example, that their loved one least able to see the birth of his nephew or his son's wedding.
Such a settlement is reached, ie I can accept that my dear is sick if you could at least do / get something important, it is crucial to develop the disease psychologically and / or the possibility of losing their relatives.
It 'can be found at this stage, an overprotective attitude is that unlike a detached attitude, it helps the family to protect themselves from the anxiety that warns marked for the psychological consequences that are living, although not optimal in respect of patient.
Acceptance phase: we accept the presence of the disease (or loss) of its dear and confront the difficulties and changes to establish a new equilibrium.
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